Tag Archives: guidance

Miracales Happen

 

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Miracales Happen

 

“The scholarship is only for the rural students as mentioned in the application form”, said Prof S.V. Nagendra Rao, The manager of the trust which provides scholarship to Rural students.
Not ready to go, and wanting to explain that I indeed deserve for the scholarship, I said, “I want to continue my education.” Looking at my details filled in my application he asked “You are an urbanite and come from good school, I said that was my past when things were all green.
Now, what happened? Now things changed. My dad underwent huge loss in business; we had sold out everything and have nothing in our hands. My Mom is in her brother’s house who is a lecturer in a village. That’s how I got this form. My Mother, a homemaker and a heart patient wanted to do everything to support my education but her health would not let her to do. My dad was in his brother’s house. I am in my Grandparents house who were taken care by my uncle. I could feel the burden on them but as a girl I could not go anywhere outside. Family was totally split. I had a good percentage despite the tragic situations happened in my house. . My relatives are kind enough to provide the shelter though they were not comfortable. It would be too much to ask them for my education when they have their own families to find bread and butter, in fact they were suggesting me to work.
There was lot of questions to my Mom asked by my relatives? Why your Husband did like this despite having good job. My Mom had tough time answering them. Call Centers/BPO was in full bloom in India which offered great salaries to people who were good at communication skills. I was suggested to get into job so that I can look up my family. But I don’t want to work. I want to continue my education sir. It isn’t a great deal for someone who had seen difficulties at young age or born in poverty family. But, the thing is I was born with a silver spoon. To see this kind of sudden tragedies would be too much to handle. I had what I wanted in fact more than what I asked for just 1 year ago. All of sudden losing everything really took a lot from me. My dad is not in a position to worry about my education. But I and Mom tried everything in spite of all our criticisms from our relatives. When my cousins who had less percentage were bribed and sent to good colleges. But I was allocated seat based on my percentage in one of the reputed colleges. I was burning up internally when I had considered all these things.
I thought I will ask my friends But they are too young to understand what happened to my family. In fact I myself am not clear as what is happening. My Mom repeatedly asked my relatives for help. None were ready to help except asking big questions like why it happened?
Finally, my mom had arranged for the money from my uncle she was adamant when that day is the last day to pay the fees and promised to return the money somehow. My fee for the current year is already paid. I have come to you in the middle of the year. But this is my first year. How about for the next year? I wanted some financial support for my education going forward. I would be happy if someone lends money for my education without regrets. I don’t want to burden anyone.
Ok, “you would be granted the scholarship”. Study well all the very best. If your percentage is too good we will grant the fund till you complete your higher studies or at least make arrangements for education loans.

I was granted scholarship for my second year studies and new books as well to continue my education. Everything was smooth and kind with respect to expenses. I believe that, than your grades it’s your willingness to not to quit that should be identified and supported. I still don’t understand with what guts I spoke to the manager being that young. But that’s how things work and get you going when you want something that you deserve and when you are constantly striving for it honestly with all the efforts. You receive help from sources unknown and sources untraced. My education trust which funded me is an excellent example. If everything gets you down, god will not let you down when you deserve something and you are striving for it. I started staying in my relative’s house when we sold our house. I stayed in my mom’s brother house and mom’s sister house during my 8th, 9th and 10th standard. I was in my grandparents’ house during my pre-university that is for a period of two years. I finally completed my engineering in my own home with fair good percentage. During my engineering, we somehow managed to rent a house and though my dad was not working as he was deeply depressed or lost in his life. Food grains were given by aunt for almost three year that’s something too big. Even a small note book was a gift to me. I still appreciate relatives and friends who brought me note books. When you are not ready to give up something and if your views are strong and honest you will receive all the help from the world in magical ways. You will muster all courage to talk to anyone in any situation without being thought, because your talks will be from the heart and real. It might seem a very small amount today but that day it was huge blessing at that time. I used to feel happy even for the slightest help that I was receiving. Slowly when my relatives realized that I was not a girl who gives up things easily they also started supporting in big or small ways. Today I am blessed to realize even the smallest things that happen to me. Only I know how I happy I feel when good things happen. I value everything big or small. Life seems to be blessing and every day I am getting better and wiser.

From: www.values.com.

 

Pathway to Hope

 

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Pathway to Hope

“Growing up I was a very shy person. I was very fortunate that God blessed me with artistic talent and athletic ability. It helped me have some outlets to excel, and meet some friends along the way.

Though I tried to to be the best I could so that people would like me, I always felt like a background person. Someone people liked to have around when they needed help because I was smart, reliable, caring. Many things came naturally to me, and I was a double edged sword. Great to have around for help, yet people didn’t think enough of me to be reliable for me. It truly sent me into a deep depression, but it seemed no one else noticed around me because I didn’t want people to know how bad I was feeling. The problem is that I didn’t have any “real” friends for far too long.

In 2012 I started changing the way I looked at things. I started thinking positive. Not worrying about what others thought of me. I started taking Pranic Healing classes, and began working to help others AND myself at the same time. Forgiveness was the first step in making the change. I had to forgive myself for thinking I wasn’t good enough to be important to others. I had to forgive others for not treating me the way I thought I deserved. Once I started getting past that I could move on.

A funny thing started happening…I moved into a new department at work. I met some really great people. It was like God was moving chess pieces into place for me. I now have good friends. My family started treating me with respect. I love my day job, and my artwork has been noticed and appreciated by many people.

Little did I know that I was being prepared for a new venture. In March of 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Within a month I had surgery and I am now halfway through my chemo treatments. Through all of this I have been so very fortunate to have such love and support from family, friends, coworkers and people from my past that I never knew I made an impression on.

It is a series of miracles that have happened to me in the midst of a terrible disease. I cannot tell you how many people have told me I have inspired them with my courage and strength! Little ol me who always thought I wasn’t important!

I want people to know that even when you don’t realize it, we touch people in ways we can never imagine, and it may become known to you when it is meant to, OR maybe not at all. The point is…always give your best to those around you. Be respectful, honest, hard working and caring. Don’t judge because we aren’t in anyone else’s shoes and they aren’t in ours. Just provide the help that you can, and it will all work out.

I’m so thankful everyday for all I have, and pray I keep getting the chance to pass it on to others. THAT IS MY HOPE!”

 

Pathway to Hope, From: www.values.com.

Warning Sign

 

 

Warning Sign

 — by Dennis Fisher
(Warning Sign, is from Our Daily Bread)

 

Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn
Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God. —Hebrews 3:12
Bible in a Year:
Psalms 10-12; Acts 19:1-20

On a sandy beach in Uruguay, giant concrete fingers partially submerged in sand reach up toward the sky. It is called the Monument to the Drowned. Locals just call it La Mano, “The Hand.” It was created by Chilean artist Mario Irarrázabal as a warning to swimmers about the danger of drowning. “The Hand” has become a tourist attraction, but its real purpose remains to remind swimmers about the perils of the sea.

The Word of God contains its own kind of warning signs. The book of Hebrews especially provides cautions about perils to the soul. “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:12-13).

The context of the verse is a review of the unbelief and rebellion of Israel in the wilderness. Though this happened centuries before the book of Hebrews was written, the spiritual principle applies today. We are to exhort one another to resist the hardening of our hearts that comes with sin.

Warning signs are given to us for our safety. Praise God that He has given us protective warnings in His Word because of His great love for us.

Lord, thank You for the warnings in Your Word
that are intended to protect and preserve my life.
Help me to heed Your reproofs and instruction
that I may live a life that is pleasing to You.
God gives us loving warnings in His Word to protect and preserve us.

Something We Need- Motivation

 

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A Story About Motivation

by Peter Bregman

I was walking back to our apartment in Manhattan, the hood of my jacket pulled tight to keep the rain out, when I saw an older man with a walker struggle to descend the slippery stairs of his building. When he almost fell, I and several others went over to help.

There was an Access-A-Ride van (a Metropolitan Transit Authority vehicle for people with disabilities) waiting for him. The driver was inside, warm and dry, as he watched us straining to help his passenger cross the sidewalk in the pouring rain.

Then he opened the window and yelled over the sound of the rain coming down, “He might not be able to make it today.”

“Hold on,” we yelled (there were five of us now) as we helped the man move around the back of the van, “he can make it.”

Traffic on 84th street had stopped. We caught the man from falling a few times, hoisted him back up, and finally got him to the van door, which the driver then opened from the inside to reveal a set of stairs. The man with the walker would never make it.

“What about your side door, the one with the electric lift?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” the driver answered, “hold on.” He put his coat over his head, came out in the rain with the rest of us, and operated the lift.

Once the man with the walker was in safely, we all began to move away when the driver opened the window one more time and yelled, “Thanks for your help.”

So, here’s my question: Why will five strangers volunteer to help a man they don’t know in the pouring rain — and think about the electric lift themselves — while the paid driver sat inside and waited?

Perhaps the driver is simply a jerk? Perhaps. But I don’t think so. Once we suggested the lift, he didn’t resist or complain, he came outside and did it immediately. And he wasn’t obnoxious either. When he thanked us for our help, he seemed sincere.

Maybe it’s because the driver is not permitted to leave the vehicle? I checked the MTA website to see if there was policy against drivers assisting passengers. On the contrary, it states “As long as the driver doesn’t lose sight of the vehicle and is not more than 100 feet away from it, the driver can assist you to and from the vehicle, help you up or down the curb or one step and assist you in boarding the vehicle.”

So why didn’t the driver help? Part of the answer is probably that for him, an old man struggling with a walker isn’t a one-time thing, it’s every day every stop, and the sight doesn’t compel him to act.

But that answer isn’t good enough. After all, it’s his job to help. That’s when it suddenly hit me: The reason the driver didn’t help might be precisely because he was paid to.

Dan Ariely, a professor at Duke University, and James Heyman, a professor at the University of St. Thomas, explored this idea. They set up a computer with a circle on the left side of the screen and a square on the right side, and asked participants to use the mouse to drag the circle into the square. Once they did, a new circle appeared on the left. The task was to drag as many circles as they could within five minutes.

Some participants received five dollars, some fifty cents, and some were asked to do it as a favor. How hard did each group work? The five dollar group dragged, on average, 159 circles. The fifty cents group dragged 101 circles. And the group that was paid nothing but asked to do it as a favor? They dragged 168 circles.

Another example: The AARP asked some lawyers if they would reduce their fee to $30 an hour to help needy retirees. The lawyers’ answer was no. Then AARP had a counterintuitive brainstorm: they asked the lawyers if they would do it for free. The answer was overwhelmingly yes.

Because when we consider whether to do something, we subconsciously ask ourselves a simple question: “Am I the kind of person who . . ?” And money changes the question. When the lawyers were offered $30 an hour their question was “Am I the kind of person who works for $30 an hour?” The answer was clearly no. But when they were asked to do it as a favor? Their new question was “Am I the kind of person who helps people in need?” And then their answer was yes.

So what does this mean? Should we stop paying people? That wouldn’t work for most people. No, we need to pay people a fair amount, so they don’t say to themselves, “I’m not getting paid enough to . . .”

Then we need to tap into their deeper motivation. Ask them: Why are you doing this work? What moves you about it? What gives you the satisfaction of a job well done? What makes you feel good about yourself?

People tend to think of themselves as stories. When you interact with someone, you’re playing a role in her story. And whatever you do, or whatever she does, or whatever you want her to do, needs to fit into that story in some satisfying way.

When you want something from someone, ask yourself what story that person is trying to tell about himself, and then make sure that your role and actions are enhancing that story in the right way.

We can stoke another person’s internal motivation not with more money, but by understanding, and supporting, his story. “Hey,” the driver’s boss could say, “I know you don’t have to get out of the van to help people, but the fact that you do — and in the rain — that’s a great thing. And it tells me something about you. And I appreciate it and I know that man with the walker does too.” Which reinforces the driver’s self-concept — his story — that he’s the kind of guy who gets out, in the rain, to help a passenger in need.

Ultimately someone else’s internal motivation is, well, her internal issue. But there are things we can do that will either discourage or augment her internal drive. And sometimes it’s as simple as what we notice.

It’s not lost on me that I too have a story about myself — I’m the kind of guy who stops on a rainy day to help an old disabled man to his van — and that it makes me feel good to tell you about it too. That will make it more likely that I’ll do it again in the future.

As we left the scene, I looked at the drivers of the cars who waited so patiently and waved, mouthing the words “thank you” as they passed. Every single one of them smiled back. Wow. New York City drivers smiling after being stuck in traffic for ten minutes? That’s right.

“Yeah,” they were thinking behind their smiles, “I’m the kind of driver who waits patiently while people less fortunate than me struggle.”

By: Peter Bregman.

 

How To Stop Worrying

 

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Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

“It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.

You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!

How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?

“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learning to postpone worrying:

  1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
  2. Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
  3. Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.

Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

  • Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
  • If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
  • Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”

If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.

As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”

Learn how emotional savvy reduces worry

Watch 2:50 min. video: Developing emotional awareness

 

The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.

The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.

Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

  • Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
  • What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
  • Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
  • Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

  • What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
  • Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
  • What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
  • If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
  • Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
  • What would I say to a friend who had this worry?” By: Melinda Smith, and Robert Segal, Self-Help.org.

Navigating The Storm

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Navigating The Storm

 — by Dennis Fisher
Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn
He commands and raises the stormy wind, . . . and He brings them out of their distresses. —Psalm 107:25,28

“The ancient people of the nation of Axum (located on the Red Sea in modern Ethiopia) discovered that the stormy winds of the monsoon season could be harnessed by sail for speedy navigation. Rather than dreading the high winds and rains, they learned how to navigate their way through the storm.

Psalm 107 provides a wonderful word picture of how God allows storms to come our way, and then provides help for us to navigate through them. “He commands and raises the stormy wind, . . . and He brings them out of their distresses” (Ps. 107:25,28).

Trusting God for guidance in troubled times is a biblical theme. Hebrews 11 lists many who used their problems as an opportunity to exercise faith and to experience God’s grace, provision, and deliverance: “Who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, [and] out of weakness were made strong” (vv.33-34).

Stormy circumstances are inevitable. Although our first reaction may be to run from the problem, we can instead ask God to teach us how to trust Him to navigate us through the storm.

When life feels like a storm-tossed sea
With crashing waves of pain and grief,
Turn to the Lord and trust in Him,
He’ll give you peace and bring relief. —Sper
Better to go through the storm with Christ than to have smooth sailing without Him.”
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