With less than two months until graduation, I received an announcement email stating that my graduation from Divinity School would be transitioned to online and the physical ceremony was canceled due to COVID-19 concerns. Though God prepared me for this announcement just two days earlier by placing in my heart that there would likely not be a physical graduation in May 2020, I was still torn between understanding the decision and disappointment. A day that I had looked forward to for years would be an online experience instead of in-person where I could celebrate with family, friends, classmates, and professors. After years of studying, writing papers, and missing out on family and friends’ events, I wanted to celebrate the conclusion of my Master of Divinity degree. I was sure that many of the other 2020 students felt a similar disappointment, so I was saddened for them as well.

Graduation was just the first event that I had to process the cancellation of. I also had a post-graduation trip out of the country, a family vacation, a mission trip, and several speaking engagements that were either canceled or postponed. I quickly decided that processing each disappointment was important to me so that I could be in an emotionally and spiritually healthy place, free from any bitterness or hard-heartedness.

Proverbs 16:9 (NASB) says, “The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.”

In my walk with the Lord, I have aimed to make plans but to allow God to alter those plans as He sees fit. During the beginning of the COVID-19 outbreak in the United States, it seemed that my plans were rapidly changing, and my disappointment was growing. My heart was also breaking for my friends and other people around the world who were experiencing great losses of loved ones, income, and more.

Spending Time in Prayer

In the midst of my changed plans and my anxious thoughts, I received word that a distant relative passed away from COVID-19 related complications. Several friends of the family also passed away due to COVID-19. As I wrestled with the weight I felt from the worldwide grief and suffering, along with my own disappointment, anger, and anxiety, I decided to pray for people who were sick, lost a loved one, lost a job, or were simply afraid. I also decided to trust God in the midst of all of the changes I faced in what I thought would be a time of pure celebration.

Through this time of prayer, God began to heal my heart and give me peace. It may seem strange to those observing me from the outside that I would have so much peace. This is precisely what the peace of God tends to do, it surpasses all understanding.

Receiving the Peace of God

I was reminded of the scripture that says in Philippians 4:7 (NASB),

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The peace of God can be present in our lives even as we are facing uncertain times, grief, and pain. God’s peace is meant to surround us and guard our hearts and our minds.

May you know the peace of God no matter what difficulty you are facing today.

“… You did awesome things that we did not expect …” (Isaiah 64:3 NIV)

To everything there is a season … and a Rubbermaid tote of decorations in the attic.

Yes. When it comes to the seasons of the year we know exactly what to expect. Halloween will welcome our light up pumpkins and our trusty leaf-filled scarecrow. Christmas will be invited by the angel tree topper that graced our Grandmother’s tree when we were small and spring will be greeted with the ancient egg decorating kit that our mom pawned off on us years ago.

When it comes to the seasons of life, however, we aren’t always as prepared. In fact, the only promises we are given in these changing seasons are “expect the unexpected.”

And I for one really don’t like the unexpected. Never have. I have a reminder on my calendar for every event under the sun. When I go to the doctor, I want to know exactly what they are going to do to me before they ever even pull out the needle. And I want to know if it’s going to hurt.

I remember being pregnant with our first son. I wasted no time rushing out to buy my copy of “What to Expect”. And when I experienced something unexpected – I totally lost it. I wanted to know what horribly rare disease I had that was so completely unheard of that it got left out of the index.

Life itself is a lot like pregnancy, isn’t it? We go into this journey totally unaware of what to expect. All throughout it, even when we think we know what’s headed our way, we find that we draw a complete blank. “God, I don’t know what I’m waiting on. I’m just waiting on something that I know hasn’t come.”

It can be frustrating when we don’t know exactly what we are waiting for. When we have no earthly idea what we need from God, we just expect that God does; and whatever that need turns out to be He’ll fulfill it. No worrying required.

Nothing gets slipped past our Father. He leaves no stone unturned, no need unfulfilled. And it’s when we learn this simple truth of our Father’s love that we let God out of our box. It’s here that we take the limits off His grace and here that He is given free rein to rock our world in ways we can yet to imagine.

When you don’t know what to expect, take comfort in these great expectations. If you are waiting on the Lord, whatever it is you are waiting for, it won’t be anything less than everything that you need.

Dead or alive?

A little sparrow sat perfectly still on the deck of my patio. I tip-toed toward the bird. She made no attempt to fly away. I knelt down beside the poor creature and studied her delicate features and beautiful colors. Shades of grey and white crisscrossed the little bird’s body, forming patterns that could mesmerize an artist. A splatter of yellow on its belly added to its beauty.

I can’t leave her here, out in the open.

The sparrow shivered when I touched her, and opened her eyes slightly. I examined her thoroughly like an animal detective. No signs of injury.

I scooped the bird into my hands gently and took her inside the kitchen. On the counter I found an empty carton of granola bars. I ripped off the top and lined the carton with a kitchen towel. Perfect! I placed the bird in the makeshift nest. She was safe here, both from the wintery cold and my ever-hungry dog.

I grabbed my laptop and searched the Internet for advice to deal with abandoned or injured birds. One wise birder suggested that birds sometimes went into a temporary state of shock when they flew into a glass window. With time, he said, they recover from the accident and fly away.

Maybe the pretty bird flew into the French windows of my living room. Could she have been so scared that every muscle in her body froze?

I could relate to her.

We had recently moved from Los Angeles to San Jose. I missed the beach-y vibe of my former town which had been home for over six years. I had friends who had become family. My Bible study mates became community. I was settled and rooted.

When we moved, the rug was pulled out from under me. The change overwhelmed me. The unfamiliarity disoriented me. Paralyzed by loneliness, I did the bare minimum to get through the day. Daily chores became drudgery. No activity seemed enjoyable. Like the sparrow, I was incapacitated, stunned by the enormity of change that shook my world.

Until God intervened.

He did not leave me on my own to weather the elements …

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry.” (Psalm 34:15 NIV)

God sent His people, strangers to me but friends with Him, to pick me up and provide shelter while I regained my perspective and renewed my faith. Old friends called and prayed with me, pointing me to God’s goodness. A parent from my son’s school befriended me and showed me around San Francisco. Within two months of moving, we found a church that felt like home the minute we walked in the sanctuary. We were invited to a Bible study by a family we met at church.

On my own, I was weak. But God provided community to pull me up and push me forward.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up …” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV)

They reminded me that I could trust God even more in the midst of unknown surroundings and an uncertain future.

And before I knew it, I began to fly again.

Back in the kitchen, after 10 minutes or so, the sparrow fluttered its wings. With eyes opened wide, it searched for a way out. I opened the door to my patio and watched in amazement as the bird soared into the sky with new-found vigor and vision.

I recently attended a Bible study on Psalm 23. We are all probably familiar with the first verse of that psalm, “The Lord is my Shepherd.” For me, this has always conjured up images of a gentle leader providing perfect guidance. A shepherd certainly does that. But during this study, I learned that the shepherd will lie down at the gate to the field where the sheep are kept to protect them from all harm.

As I listened to the teacher, I was reminded of all the times the Lord has protected me, and I began writing them down. I thought of 10 right away, and the list is still growing. But one example has always stood out to me.

I was preparing to drive a group of teenagers to a church meeting. As I pumped gas into my car a powerful feeling came over me that got my full attention and I heard in my mind the words, “Pray for protection.”

My thoughts turned to the precious cargo I would be transporting that evening as I prayed.

That night, as we were getting close to our destination, I saw traffic cones all along the side of the road. It was pitch black as there were no streetlights on this road. Suddenly, a car came out from between the cones and passed in front of me, and I had no time to even touch my brakes. The car came so close in front of me that it seemed like metal went through metal.

This was in the days before airbags and I can’t imagine what would have happened that day if I had plowed into that car at full speed. To this day, it fills my heart with gratitude to the Lord.

I used to wonder why the Lord didn’t just protect us. Why did He ask me to pray? Now, I realize, had He just protected us, I would have thought, “Oh my gosh, that was close!” and went on my way. But because of the experience while pumping gas, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that this was God at work, watching over His precious children.

I remember my pastor once told a story about the day his daughter was in a car accident. He said at that moment he would have tried to run through a wall if he had to, in order to get to her.

As I heard my pastor say that I thought, “What a picture of our Heavenly Father.”

To be sure my pastor is a loving father, but it’s not possible for anyone to love us more than our Heavenly Father.

Isaiah 58:8 says,

“… the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind.“

That means He’s always got my back. He’s always looking out for me and, like my pastor, when one of his kids is in trouble, He will move heaven and earth to get to them.

If God has a plan for your life, and you have a plan for your life, whose plan do you think is better?

During my senior year of college, I attended a conference called Senior Panic. The term aptly described me. Graduation loomed just months away, and I wasn’t sure which path to pursue. But I knew what I didn’t want — ministry.

So, when I sensed God’s call to join Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ), I resisted. Strongly. I was sure our perfect God had made His first mistake. He had the wrong gal.

Like Jacob, I wrestled all night with God. Like Moses, I offered up every excuse why He should pick someone else. Not only was I not qualified, but the idea of living in a hut in the jungle also didn’t appeal to me. And I was sure, if I completely surrendered to God, that is exactly where He’d send me.

But God wouldn’t relent, so worn out from resisting, I surrendered.

During my staff interview, a woman asked me how sure I was of my calling. “100%,” I said, “because this is not something I would choose.”

Cru accepted me — on PROBATION — of course. Hadn’t I already told God about my limited Bible knowledge and lack of ministry experience?

Training and Transformation

At staff training in Fort Collins, Colorado, my heart softened. I realized I wanted to serve Christ wherever He decided to put me. On completion, they assigned me to a team in Boston — instead of a hut in the jungle.

Our team director modeled a close walk with the Lord. He taught us how to study the Bible in a simple format. He assigned us to spend two hours with God every morning before our staff meeting. The Scriptures began to speak to me like they never had before.

I learned to savor my time with God. His Word became fuel for my soul. It’s no exaggeration to say my life was transformed. As my love for God and His Word exploded, a passion to connect others to God’s heart was born.

I met my husband on staff and after 11 years in youth ministry, we sensed the call to pursue training in biblical counseling. That led us into different venues of ministry.

After serving God in vocational Christian ministry for many decades I can say, God didn’t make a mistake when He called me. I now realize He doesn’t call us for what we can do for Him, but for what He can do in and through us.

God’s plan is not always easy. Sometimes it includes setbacks and suffering. But we can be sure it’s always best.

Do you have a plan for your life that collides with God’s plan for you? Let’s go back to our opening question, whose plan do you think is better?

The only way to live a life without regret is to live a life of surrender and obedience.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

 

Let Me Take Care of That for You

by Debbie Holloway, crosswalk.com

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).

I recently had a bit of a three-ring-circus to deal with trying to pay a toll. Our lovely Richmond, VA is indeed a beautiful city, but we sure do have some tolls. In fact, depending on where you’re going and from where you’re coming, you may have to pay 3 or 4 tolls in one trip. That happened to me a few weeks ago. As I left the office (right in the middle of the city) and headed southside to visit a friend, I realized too late that I didn’t have enough cash to pay the final toll. With a sigh, I asked for a receipt from the toll booth and went on my way.

I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say I talked to far too many people on the phone, hand-delivered my toll payment in some city office, and still got a “Toll Violation” notice in the mail. This resulted in mild deflation of my spirits. My family said, “Debbie, don’t worry. Just call them and explain.” I tried to, but was informed that not only was there no record of my payment, but that I would be forced to pay an extra $13 (on a 70 cent toll!) for a vague “Administration” fee.

Come on, I kept thinking. I’m just trying to live my life and pay my toll.

In one last valiant move to get some help, I walked back to the aforementioned office on my lunch break the next afternoon. As it so happened, a high ranking administrator happened to be there right when I was. As I explained the situation, he made a copy of my toll notice and immediately got someone on the phone.

“I can dismiss this for you,” he said.

“What do I need to do?” I asked, skeptical. “Who do I need to call and follow up with?”

“Nope. Nothing,” he said. “Here’s my card. If you get another notice, just call me.”

I left the office that day with a spring in my step and a burden off my shoulders. I was no longer going to be hounded by the toll agencies!

“See, we told you,” my family said. “You shouldn’t have worried.”

Isn’t our relationship with Christ a lot like that, sometimes? I feel like I have worried and fretted about so many things, only to realize in retrospect that God was trying to tell me, “Baby, let me take care of that for you.”

Jesus told his disciples,

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26)

 

Praying for Persecuted Christians

From: InTouch ministries

To get the most out of this devotion, set aside time to read the Scripture referenced throughout.

Each year more than 200 million believers around the world suffer for their faith—especially in many parts of Asia, the Middle East, and Africa. Where oppressive governments make Christianity illegal, churches are bombed and defaced, and followers of Jesus face imprisonment, torture, or even death for their beliefs. It’s not uncommon for the faithful to risk their life attempting to escape such regimes.

This oppression is devastating. But for us who can more freely express our faith, it presents an opportunity to support those who can’t safely proclaim Christ. Jesus tells us that we can ask for anything in His name (John 14:12-14). Let’s make time to pray that our brothers and sisters around the world will have courage and endurance—and that God will make a way for them to safely gather in worship.

Think About It

• Peter encouraged the early church when it faced persecution (1 Peter 4:12-14). What are some ways we can uplift those suffering for their faith?
• Are there tangible ways you can support the church around the world? Discuss ideas with your family, small group, or pastor.

Self-delusion

By: Charles Spurgeon

‘Many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.’ Luke 13:24

Suggested Further Reading: Luke 12:15–21

I marvel not that so many are deceived, when I see the careless way in which you deal with religion. When men have to do with their estates, they are very careful; they fee a lawyer to go back over the title-deeds perhaps for two or three hundred years. In trade they will hurry hither and thither to attend to their commercial engagements; they would not launch into speculations, nor would they run great risks; but the soul, the poor soul, how men play with it as a toy, and despise it as if it were worthless earth. Two or three minutes in the morning when they first roll out of bed, two or three odd minutes in the evening, when they are nearly asleep—the fag-ends of the day given to their souls, and all the best part given to the body! And then, the Sabbath! How carelessly spent by most people! With what indifference do you lend your ears too often to the preaching of the Word! It is an old song; you have heard it so many times; heaven has become a trifle to you, hell is almost a jest, eternity a notion, and death but a bugbear. Alas! it is a marvel that there are not more deceived. The wonder is that any find the gate, that any discover eternal life, when we are so, so mad, so foolish, so insane, as to trifle where we ought to be awfully in earnest, and to play and toy, where the whole heart is all too little to be given to a work of such dread, such everlasting importance. God help us, since it is so easy to be deceived, to search, and watch, and look, and test, and try, that we be not found castaways at the last!

For meditation: Satan does not need to deceive us, when we are doing his dirty work by deceiving ourselves. Beware of delusions of wisdom (1 Corinthians 3:18), self-satisfaction (Galatians 6:3), hearing God’s Word without applying it (James 1:22), a loose tongue (James 1:26) and claims to sinless perfection (1 John 1:8). These are all paths to self-deceit.

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not treat prophecies with contempt ²¹ but test them all; hold on to what is good, ²² reject every kind of evil.

I was always terrible at praying. For years, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t do it. I’d lock myself in my closet, but instead of savoring God’s goodness, I would end up reorganizing. I tried waking up with the sun. I would jump out of bed and kneel down on my bedroom floor. Thirty minutes later, I would wake up in a puddle of my own drool. I recited the Lord’s Prayer. I memorized the ACTS prayer acrostic. I tried. I really did. None of my prayer strategies worked. I was ready to give up on the idea that I would ever be able to establish anything resembling a consistent prayer life, when all of a sudden, it happened. It was an otherwise ordinary day when I finally learned how to pray.

I was two years out of college at the time, still working as an intern at the church in South Florida, and once more I had risen at dawn only to fall back asleep at the foot of my bed. Shaking myself free from slumber and spittle, I grabbed my Bible in frustration and walked out the door to the field behind the house I was living in. Marching resolutely around the field, I was committed to staying awake. That was really it. I wasn’t trying to commune with God as much I was just trying not to fall back asleep.

It worked.

I marched and ranted up to the heavens. In my 20-odd years of life, I had prayed aloud in public settings and worship events, but I had never done that in my personal prayer time. Something changed. I was still holding my Bible loosely in one hand, swinging it along beside me as I began to talk about my inability to stay awake. “God! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stay awake? Am I a fake Christian? Is this whole thing with You pretend or what?”

I’d shout a couple of questions and then read a few verses. All the while, I just kept marching. I felt foolish mumbling to myself. I was self-conscious, wondering if someone was watching. To anyone peering over the gate and into the field, I must have looked like a sweaty-toothed madman running into a spider web, grasping at the air and flailing about. It didn’t matter. I had to find my way. I didn’t care what I looked like if it meant I might actually achieve some sort of communion with the Lord. It was a foolishness I was ready to take on.

Outside, out loud, and moving, I prayed. I didn’t care who was watching or who was misunderstanding. If Jesus was totally fine with being misunderstood, I could be fine with it too. That muggy day in Florida, I found my spiritual footing by simply keeping my feet moving. I was storming around in the grass, muttering aloud, but I managed to pray for more than five minutes. It was exhilarating.

I don’t know what it will take for you, but for me, these three simple steps have helped my easily distracted brain stay on course:

• Go outside.
• Pray out loud.
• Keep moving.

It is essential for each of us to find some method by which we can return our minds to communion with God because perpetual communion is what our God is after.

“Would I bring to the point of birth and not deliver?”

These are the words God pressed on my heart yesterday. I was in my living room during my morning quiet time. But my mind and spirit were anything but quiet. My journal was open as I furiously penned thoughts and frustrations, prayers and praises … dreams and disappointments. Page after page after page.

Hurricanes on the east coast, wildfires on the west, and COVID racing around the globe. So much chaos swirling all around us. Yet at the same time, here we are simultaneously trapped in our homes. Work from home. School at home. Church at home … What a paradox! Proverbs 27:1 warns us,

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”

Isn’t that the truth? 

Truth be told, there are quite a number of Bible verses that remind us not to hold on too tightly to our plans. That can be hard when we live in a society where we are virtually tethered to our calendars.

But what if God gives us the vision? What if our plans are conceived by the Holy Spirit? What happens when we move forward in obedience only to feel like we just slammed into a brick wall?

God says in His Word that when we yield to Him, we will hear His voice saying,

“This is the way, walk in it …” and that He will lead us in the way we should go. (Isaiah 30:21, 48:17).

So we move forward. We step out in faith … then suddenly, wham!

A dear friend had just moved into a lovely home in the beautiful redwoods of Mount Hermon. She had been looking forward to having a quiet place where she could rest and God could give her son room to heal. Just weeks later, she was forced to evacuate because of approaching wildfires.

Another friend has a daughter who had been planning her wedding for over a year. Then COVID hit. They postponed the date. They postponed it again. Finally, she told her parents, “I just want to get married and move on with my life.” Others have lost their homes or had to say goodbye to loved ones from a distance.

As I was praying and journaling, I was struggling with my own disappointment over the LEGION Bible study video production dates being canceled at the last possible moment due to the fires. Add to that the enemy’s attempt to pile on guilt in knowing that my disappointment is trivial compared to what many others are dealing with.

The worse part of it is that no one knows when it will all end. In times like these, it is so easy to give in to despair, but that’s when we have to stop and say, “BUT GOD …”

BUT GOD knows. And God cares. In fact, long before He gave you the dream, He knew exactly how the path, timing, and outcome would look. This is when we need to remind ourselves that God is sovereign over all. In fact, this is one of the key themes in the teaching sessions I will be recording for the Legion Bible study. (Good grief, I need to heed my own words!) And so as I was praying yesterday morning, “casting my cares” on God about when or if the video production would happen, I heard God’s gentle voice, saying,

“Shall I bring to the point of birth and not deliver?”

In other words, if God has pressed a dream into my heart or yours, would He bring us to the edge of fulfillment only to abandon us there? NEVER. GOD IS FAITHFUL TO FINISH WHAT HE STARTED. The path may look different than what we imagined. The timing may not be what we had hoped. But if God gives us the vision, the OUTCOME is as sure as the tomb was empty on resurrection morning.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.” (Psalm 138:8)

What dream are you trusting God to fulfill in this season?

I’m not an artist, but I love to go to museums and look at paintings. Sometimes as I walk through the galleries, I see groups of schoolchildren with their sketchpads, trying to copy a great work. I glance over their shoulders and try to catch a glimpse of their pint-sized masterpieces. Usually, the shapes and sizes that the children have drawn are similar to those on the framed canvas, but somehow, they’re not the same. In fact, their inexperienced images remind me of my own.

Every Friday throughout elementary school, I had art class with Ms. Floyd. At the end of the week, when I presented my mother with my most recent creation, she taped it to our refrigerator door and lovingly asked, “What is it?” Eventually, it became apparent that although I enjoyed beauty, I wasn’t very good at creating it. Kind teachers used words like “interesting” to describe my work, but in reality, my paintings were flat and lifeless. Recently, I reconnected with a friend who is an amateur artist. I sat in her studio sipping tea while she crafted a simple still life of scarlet geraniums in a copper pot. As I watched her painting come to life, I noticed that she saw things differently than I did. Whereas I only saw lines and shapes, she saw shadows and light, and I noticed that, as she carefully dabbed darkness onto the image, the flat, unrealistic forms gained authenticity and depth.

Sometimes as Christians we’re afraid of what will happen if shadows temporarily surround us. We fear difficulties. And yet, because we live in a fallen world, at some point, we will find ourselves in darkness. It may be the result of a sinful choice, a spiritual discipline, a demonic attack, or a divine test. However, just like in a work of art, shadows add substance to our lives — by deepening our intimacy with God.

When we walk through seemingly impossible circumstances — a devastating illness, a personal loss, or challenging finances — we gain depth and authenticity in our relationship with God. Although we are not defined by the shadows, they do give us shape, and scripture promises,

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5 (NIV)

God’s light is always there, but sometimes we can’t see it due to life’s circumstances.

Without challenges, our Christian walk can become flat and lifeless, just like immature art. Art does imitate life, and before the foundation of the world, God created each of our individual canvases with the perfect amount of shadow and light. Everything He has created for us is good. Isaiah 45:3 promises,

“I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness — secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” Isaiah 45:3 (NLT)

God is creating a masterpiece in each of His children, and He wants the world to see His light as well as the depth of His relationship with His children — depth that is created in the shadows of life.