Tag Archives: refreshing

Funny Snipnets

 

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From: Atimetolaugh.org.

Who is the Smartest?

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

red and white parachute

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack!

World’s Greatest Invention

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle.

“Why a thermos bottle?” the others asked.

“Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”

“Yes – so what?”

“Think about it.” said the mystic reverently. “That little bottle – how does it know?”

World’s Smartest Dectective

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.

“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

It’s Smart To Be Cautious

I’m afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.

Smart Contest:  Lawyer Versus The Little Boy

A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, “Hello.”

Lawyer: “Is your mommy there?”

Boy: (whisper) “Yes.”

Lawyer: “Can I speak with her?”

Boy: (whisper) “She’s busy.”

Lawyer: “Is your daddy there?”

Boy: (whisper) “Yes.”

Lawyer: “Can I speak with him?”

Boy: (whisper) “He’s busy.”

Lawyer: “Is there anyone else there?”

Boy: (whisper) “The fire department.”

Lawyer: “Can I talk to one of them?”

Boy: (whisper) “They’re busy.”

Lawyer: “Is there anybody ELSE there?”

Boy: (whisper) “The police department.”

Lawyer: “Well, can I talk to one of THEM?”

Boy: (whisper) “They’re busy.”

Lawyer: “Let me get this straight, your mother, father, the fire department AND the police department are ALL in your house, and they’re ALL busy. WHAT are they doing?”

Boy: (whisper) “They’re looking for me.”

Great Fire, Little Water

 

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The great fire and the little water

Among the Aztec people of Mexico, it is said that a long time ago there was a great fire in the forests that covered our Earth. People and animals started to run, trying to escape from the fire. Our brother owl, Tecolotl, was running away also when he noticed a small bird hurrying back and forth between the nearest river and the fire. He headed towards this small bird.

He noticed that it was our brother the Quetzal bird, Quetzaltototl, running to the river, picking up small drops of water in his beak, then returning to the fire to throw that tiny bit of water on the flame. Owl approached Quetsal bird and yelled at him: “What are you doing brother? Are you stupid? You are not going to achieve anything by doing this. What are you trying to do? You must run for your life!”

Quetzal bird stopped for a moment and looked at owl, and then answered: “I am doing the best I can with what I have.”

It is remembered by our Grandparents that a long time ago the forests that covered our Earth were saved from a great fire by a small Quetzal bird, an owl, and many other animals and people who got together to put out the fire.

Source: “Turning To One Another” by Margaret Wheatley

 


A sense of a goose

Next Autumn, when you see geese heading south for the winter, flying in a “V” formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily, because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
If we have the sense of a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are heading the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.
It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
What message do we give when we honk from behind?

Finally – and this is important – when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of the formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their own group.
If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.

From: www.Rogerdarlington.me.uk.

Water Problems

 

 

Water Problems

 — by Dave Branon
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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn
There is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. —Romans 13:1
Bible in a Year:
Esther 9-10; Acts 7:1-21

 

Our church family was excited to see work begin on our new sanctuary. Each Sunday we eagerly looked at the big hole in the ground. But progress seemed slow.

It all came down to water. Too much in one place and not enough in another. An underground spring was one problem. Construction could not continue until inspectors were satisfied that water was being directed away from the site. At the same time, city officials said we didn’t have enough water coming into the building for a sprinkler system—so new lines for water had to be added. None of us wanted the project to be slowed down by these rulings, but we realized that if codes weren’t followed, we would face serious problems in the future.

Sometimes we grumble about government and other officials. But a proper respect for authority honors God. Paul, who had his own problems with those in charge, wrote, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities” (Rom. 13:1). And later, “Do what is good, and you will have praise from [the authorities]” (v.3).

As we let God’s Spirit teach us, we can have a healthy attitude toward government. It’s for our good, the testimony of our faith, and most of all for God’s honor.

Thank You, Lord, for people who are willing to serve in
our local, state, and national governments. We pray that
they will seek righteousness and justice and that You
will help us to respect those You have placed over us.
Respect for authority brings glory to God.
Our Daily Bread.